


Primetime in Australia

by mongoose_bite



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Video Game World, Awkward First Times, First Meetings, Frottage, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:21:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5212592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mongoose_bite/pseuds/mongoose_bite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Few would guess Erwin Smith's preferred way of spending his Friday nights is at home in his underwear playing online games. Erwin himself wouldn't have guessed the consequences of meeting the brilliant strategist organising the late-night insurgency against the Oceanic server. He's thirty-six, after all, and old enough to be quite confident he's entirely straight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Primetime in Australia

It was late Friday night, and the city sparkled beyond the glass walls of the meeting room. Erwin glanced at his watch and then leaned forward to interject, smooth or unyielding as required. There were eight people in the room; two were women, and all were wearing suits. They were in a good mood; it was Friday, nothing would be decided until Monday, but Erwin watched them bat ideas back and forth and made copious notes by hand.

Erwin Smith was a Trojan Horse. He looked like all the others, in a power suit and conservative haircut, and he spoke like them too; polished legalese that told them he’d been to the right sort of school. It put them off their guard. He could see the look of surprise when they first met him, expecting someone from his organisation to be in tie-dyes and dreadlocks, or perhaps tweed. And they’d relax, make all sorts of assumptions as to why someone like him would work for a non-profit, and think he was one of them.

That meant meetings late Friday nights. That meant friendly drinks afterwards, networking, and gossip.

They adjourned. Erwin looked at his watch and said with credible sincerity that he’d be delighted to go out for drinks. No one was waiting at home, he was married to the job. Everyone understood, and there was a brief dick-measuring contest in the lift as they each put forth how hard they worked. If they’d been nicer people, Erwin might have felt sorry for them, but we all bring it on ourselves, he thought. Just because he told himself he didn’t buy into the ethos behind it didn’t change the fact that he was sitting in an expensive bar at midnight with people he had no affection for looking for weaknesses and information to exploit. For the good of the planet, of course, but he didn’t like to think about what it was doing to him in the meantime.

He’d almost been married once, and then he’d chosen his job.

They drifted away, one by one, over the next couple of hours but Erwin stayed to the end, just to hear what was said about those who departed.

He took a late train home, sharing it with young drunks, hungry after eating nothing but edamame for the last few hours and resigned to the fact that the Australians would be ascendant when he got home.

“I’m back,” he told his fish tank, the residents of which ignored him. He took off his suit with almost reverential relief, hanging the coat up neatly, putting the rest in the basket for washing. Friday at last. He could discard his respectable mask and do what he wanted.

In nothing but his boxers he strolled back into the kitchen, made himself a bowl of cereal, and returned to his bedroom to wake up his computer, a water-cooled, overclocked beast, bloated with carefully-researched components and glowing with LEDs in customisable colours.

It probably was hardly worth the effort tonight. Erwin knew it was primetime in Australia. He logged in anyway as he needed to let off some steam, crunching cereal through the loading screen.

For some reason, Erwin’s server was always matched against one of the Oceanic servers on Friday nights, and when his fellow Americans finally went to bed, the Aussies ran rampant over the vast world versus world battlefields. As soon as the capital city had loaded, he brought up the stats screen to check the extent of the carnage. His server had been pushed back to their home map, and aside from the unassailable spawn point, was only managing to grimly hang on to one or two supply camps.

Fuck it, he’d get some kills up at least. His character, Sternwin, ran unhesitatingly through the portal, but Erwin was far less confident.

When he zoned in he looked at the map. There was a small cluster of combatants making their way towards an enemy supply camp, the server’s precious two supply camps left unguarded.

Someone was talking in the chat.

_Follow Holly guys_

Erwin curved his fingers over the keyboard and typed.

_What’s going on?_

His response came from a character called Holly Foesmitely, and it was nothing more than IP information for a Vent server, clearly a macro, since she said it twice in quick succession. Erwin shrugged and alt+tabbed out to join it.

“-n’t hold it. There are too many of them,” a young man was saying. “This is the best we can do.”

Erwin rejoined the game, and set off across the map to join his allies. By the time he joined them they’d taken the camp, and the friendly NPCs were spawning in. There were only about a dozen people here, all told, and Erwin had caught a glimpse of the enemy column, a stream of red names making their way to take the supply camps and obliterating any player unlucky enough to catch their attention.

“Come on guys, keep moving,” said the voice that presumably belonged to Holly’s player. Holly herself was a necromancer, running ahead of the group trailing sinister particle effects and a couple of shambling undead horrors. “Let’s take the next one.”

And they were off and running again, Holly leading them through a series of low gullies, cutting across the middle of the map, and down through a lake. Holly's player had to know the map like the back of his hand. Erwin could see the point of it. Against the enemy horde they stood no chance holding a supply camp; their only chance at survival was avoiding the enemy.

They came across a small group of enemy players; exploring or lost, and they they fell upon them, delighted to have someone to take out their frustration on. Sternwin barely suffered any damage before they were running again.

This hit and run method worked well, as they crossed the map, always going the other way when the bulk of the enemy forces was spotted. Erwin thought it was a rather interesting tactic, and was serving them better than trying to dig in, as the camps were taken and regained, and the supplies at their disposal built up.

“We should take our orb back,” someone said.

“They’re guarding it.” A babble of voices rose on the vent server, as several people waded into the debate.

“Not yet,” Holly’s player said, a bit desperately. “We can take the fort.”

“We don’t need a fort we need the buffs the orb gives us.”

“They’re going to come after us if we take a fort.”

“Guys-” Holly again.

“Kid you’ve been leading us around and we haven’t done anything. We just run away.”

“Yes, but-”

He’s too nice, Erwin thought. It’s his server, he should just mute the troublemakers. No one won a battle by being democratic but some people wanted a vote anyway. Erwin shook his head.

He pushed the talk button and put on his professional do-not-fuck-with-me voice. “If it weren’t for Holly we’d be completely obliterated, so shut up and let him do his thing.”

Silence fell for a few moments.

“Take the fort,” Holly said.

A small peep alerted Erwin to a private message: _Thanks_.

_yw_

He didn’t have time to type in more, as the group surged against the doors of the fort. Without siege weaponry they were reduced to hacking at it while NPC defenders rained arrows from above. A couple of people peeled off to take a nearby supply camp and Holly asked if anyone had weapon blueprints.

Erwin didn’t and he concentrated on fighting, Sternwin charging into the fort when the doors finally splintered, hunting down NPCs to put to his sword. The sooner they took the fort the better.

“Arrow carts on the walls,” Holly said, and what followed was a surprisingly tense few minutes, an eerily quiet calm before the storm as they ran back and forth with supplies to build the siege weaponry on the walls. The enemy had to know they were there; the capture of the fort was announced across the whole map, and the defenders were still vastly outnumbered.

Enemy players started showing up in small groups, and Sternwin joined Holly and a handful of others hunting them down, drawing them in towards the fort as the arrows started to fall like rain. In ascendancy for so long, the enemy was disorganised and Erwin found himself grinning as he charged around the battlefield. He’d never had this much fun during primetime in Australia.

And then the main force arrived.

“Back to the fort!” Holly called urgently as players caught outside got slaughtered. Those with ranged attacks used them and the row of arrow carts along the top mowed down the invaders as they rushed to the gate.

Erwin laughed. He couldn’t do much at this distance so he manned a cart instead, watching his kill count tick up. Finally, they were digging in against the Australians. The column charged at them and broke on the fort’s defences. Spellfire blazed and soon the area in front of the fort was littered with corpses. There was no way they were going to get a battering ram to the doors.

The enemy regrouped, resurrecting themselves and running back to a safe distance.

 _theyre building a catapult,_ someone typed in chat, and Erwin could see it was true. Out of range of the arrow carts, the enemy was safe, but the walls of the fort were not.

Holly stood on the battlements, watching as a group of the defenders, under the cover of the arrows, ran out to try and disrupt the construction. Erwin could see it was a delaying tactic at best. They were outnumbered and they died.

“Half of you stay here and hold the fort,” Holly said. “Half come with me. Bring a battering ram.” And with that she ran to the side of the fort and jumped into the lake beside it. No contest. Erwin abandoned his arrow cart and followed.

There was no winding about this time, Holly led them on a direct route to the temple that housed the Orb. It was not abandoned; the enemy still held it, but they were not expecting an assault, and as he charged up the steps Erwin could only see two or three enemy players backing up the NPCs.

The terrain still favoured the defenders and it was a brutal battle. Erwin's fingers flew over his hotkeys as he dodged away from mines and mortars, trying to heal allies that weren't as quick. Holly's player didn't say much; it was obvious what they had to do.

The battering ram thudded against the doors to the temple. Sternwin concentrated on trying to shield the characters carrying it.

“Don't try and hold it,” Holly said as the doors splintered. “Grab the Orb and run it back to our temple.”

Holly herself snatched it, while Sternwin and the others battled the defenders, and then they were retreating, their casualties still running back from the resurrection points, just a handful of fighters racing across a rocky valley to the other temple. Holly couldn't defend herself; she had to carry the orb, and the others clustered around her, wary of enemy fighters.

“Choke point here,” Holly said, as they darted up a mountain pass, red names trailing them.

Erwin knew what he had to do.

“I'll hold it.”

He nodded along to his music as he planted his banner in the ground and set up his area of effect spells. Come on, he thought, waiting behind a boulder for the first enemy to get within range of his sword. Slowed, the ranger looked around for him and Sternwin leaped on him, bashing his pet wolf into dazed submission with his shield before going for ranger himself.

Erwin wasn't sure how much time he'd bought. He was one against a dozen, but he dodged and hid behind his shield and blew all his cooldowns, and died on his feet. He was running back from the resurrection point when when the blessing of the Orb was bestowed upon him, and he knew Holly had made the trip safely.

He laughed, and there were cheers on vent. The fort wouldn't hold much longer, the walls crumbling under the catapult, but the war never truly ended, and he felt they'd won the battle, against all odds. He leaned back in his chair and rolled his shoulders, realising he'd tensed up. He glanced at the window and saw sunlight coming in through his blinds.

Well, shit.

He typed a quick message of congratulations, added Holly to his contacts list, and logged out to a chat window on his desktop with several new messages from Levi.

_Wtf are u doing up so early?_

_Erwin u didn't sleep did u_

_R u gaming?_

_OMG GO TO BED_

_u fuking nerd_

_u fuckwit ur gonna regret this i'm going for a run_

Erwin grinned, still high from his victory.

_I had to show the Australians how it's done._

Erwin went and had a shower and when he got back Levi had sent him an eyeroll smiley and nothing else. Erwin finally, belatedly, went to bed.

The next weekend Erwin managed to get away earlier, and when he joined the battle the servers were more equally matched. Holly was online too, although her player wasn't leading the fight today. Erwin sought her out anyway and sent her a /wave when he saw her.

While they waited for the leader to decide where they were going next, the in-game chat peeped at him.

_Thanks for volunteering for the suicide mission._

Erwin was pleased his sacrifice had been noted. _It would have been what my character wanted._ He didn't really roleplay much, his character wasn't anything more than a guy who liked fighting, but it had felt good to draw his line in the sand.

_Holly will remember him._

Oh. Okay then. Erwin wasn't sure how to respond. _It was the best battle I'd been in for a while. The sun was up when it was over._

_Yeah. Same. Couldn't just abandon it._

They were directed to the next supply camp and they didn't have time to speak after that. As the numbers dwindled, and the hour grew later, Holly stepped up more often with suggestions and sometime after midnight the vent info macro was put back into use. The fight was less organised this time; there were still plenty of people on the map not paying attention, and Holly's small group, Sternwin included, ran raids on the supply camps and harassed small groups of enemy combatants until Erwin looked at the clock and decided he wasn't going to pull another all-nighter.

It became a sort of a thing. Friday nights were reserved battling the Australians with Holly. Levi was always working on Friday nights and Erwin had nothing better to do, unless he wanted to try and find a date. The battles started late enough that it didn't really interfere with the rest of Erwin's life. Holly was usually already online whenever he logged in, and usually messaged him a _Hello_ whenever he did.

Holly’s player was always all-business when he was on vent, but happy enough to chat otherwise, and Erwin learned he was college student on a full scholarship, studying engineering with a focus on thermodynamics. He was smart and amusing and Erwin had no problem calling him a friend when he talked about his anti-Australian campaign to Levi.

Levi said it was almost enough to have him start playing again, but he never seemed to get around to it. Levi was an excellent player, but not very motivated, and he'd quit for the most part soon after hitting the level cap. Erwin, on the other hand, knew he had to limit his hours, and had strict rules for himself, lest he lose whole weekends gaming.

One of the rules was no gaming on Sundays unless he’d ticked absolutely everything else off his to-do list. This weekend, he’d somehow managed it. His laundry was done, he’d put in an hour and a half at the gym and his kitchen was almost to Levi’s standards. He’d even put on a casserole to slow cook for dinner (it would be lunch tomorrow as well) and he was feeling very virtuous indeed. Virtuous enough that his conscience backed off when he logged in.

He wasn’t surprised to see Holly was online, but she was in the capital city rather than on the battlefield. Erwin himself didn’t feel like fighting other players today, and he went to do a bit of crafting before going exploring. A nice, restful session that wouldn’t go longer than he expected and make him late for dinner or sleep.

He was on his way to the forge when he saw Holly’s name in /say. She was teasing someone for losing a duel; clearly roleplaying. Erwin hovered about out of sight for a while; he’d found the group sitting outside the inn. Holly had swapped her spiky, gleaming armour for a plain dress and boots, and the others around her were similarly garbed.

Erwin sort of envied the roleplayers. He hadn’t had time to play Dungeons and Dragons since college, and this seemed like a potentially enjoyable substitute, but he hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to just wade in, and if he was honest the quality of the players had put him off.

But now he knew someone who was into it, it seemed a little less daunting. He hunted around his keyboard for the never-used toggle run key, and realised he felt like he did when he was about to give a presentation.

Get a grip, he told himself, and Sternwin, still in his armour since he had no other clothes, walked up to the group.

“Hello, Holly.”

Holly, thankfully, /smiled at him. “Sternwin, was it?” she said. “So nice to see you.”

“Holly, who’s this?” one of the other roleplayers asked.

“Oh, just a client. I always get adventurers asking me to find maps to ruins and things.” Holly giggled. It was clearly a lie, but Erwin went along with it, although he was no aware he had no idea what plot they were roleplaying, and he decided he’d done enough for now.

“You were very helpful. I was just on my way to the forge and thought I’d say hello. I should be going.”

“Bye, Sternwin,” one of the others said.

Erwin forced himself not to hit the Run key until he was out of sight. I’m so out of practice, he thought. His paladin in college had been a silver-tongued diplomat, who’d driven Levi mad by talking them out of situations before his assassin could handle them in a more bloody fashion.

Erwin ran to the forge and set about doing the smithing he’d originally intended to. He’d been at it for a little while when Holly sent him a whisper:

_Hey I hope we weren’t unwelcoming._

Erwin responded. _I’m just out of practice. Didn’t really know what I was doing._

_You were fine. Holly lives a double life. Did you want to RP more or?_

_Sure. I’m just smithing._

_Let’s not bother all the people there. Head over to the park._

On the way Holly said “Psst!” from one of the alleyways, and she thanked him for going along with her deception.

“I didn’t mean to involve you. It was rotten luck. As far as they know I’m just a librarian at the royal archive.”

Erwin emoted folding his arms. “So what are you really?”

Holly blinked innocently at him. “A necromancer of course. You’ve seen me fight. Working in the archives is how I get access to the forbidden collection, but if they found out I’d be fired. No more access.”

“They don’t know you go off and fight?”

“They don’t need to know,” she said sharply. “Although now you do, what are you going to do about it?”

Sternwin thought about this and decided. “Nothing. Your secret is safe with me.”

“That’s such a relief, I didn’t want to have to kill you.”

Sternwin didn’t know if this was a joke or not. Erwin was deeply amused, and whispered _Would she have tried to kill him if he’d said otherwise?_

_She might have tried seduction first._

Now Erwin didn’t know if this was a joke or not.

They talked for a while longer and then Holly’s player whispered that he had to leave. Erwin thanked him for showing a noob how it was done, and was assured in turn that he was no noob and that they should do it again sometime.

Erwin thought it was amusing, but felt he was wasting game time chatting, and after a bit of back and forth at their next battle, Holly agreed to hire Sternwin to help her out with some explorations, and thus they roleplayed casually in between battling various monsters.

He didn’t tell Levi about this. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of roleplaying, Levi had rolled as many dice as he had (probably more, really; his assassin was overpowered as fuck, looking back.) But it was more that Erwin picked up pretty quickly that Holly and Sternwin liked each other.

Which was fine. His paladin had eventually married a princess, despite her being an NPC played by Mike. It wasn’t weird. Erwin was secure in his sexuality and it was what his character would have done.

It was a little different with Holly. Her player was happy to talk about the roleplay, but Erwin hadn’t asked him directly about it. The thing was, they weren’t sitting around a table face to face, and there were no witnesses as to what they did out in the wilderness, and it didn’t quite feel as harmless.

He was probably overthinking it, given that this was the closest he’d come to an actual date in months.

 _Hey, how old are you? If you don’t mind me asking,_ Erwin messaged during a lull in the battle.

He’d thought his message had gotten lost in the map chat, but it turned out Holly’s player was just taking his time to respond.

_You realise if I told you, you’d be obligated to answer the same question._

_Thirty-six,_ Erwin replied. He had no reason to hide it.

_Ha. I thought you sounded a bit older than average. You know I’m in college anyway. I’m 21, although I know I sound younger._

Erwin’s impulse was to politely disagree, but Holly’s player didn’t have much time for bullshit, and Erwin merely responded, _That’s about what I’d guessed._

_You were thinking about me?_

The enemy had been sighted and the battle was about to recommence so Erwin couldn’t really consider why that question unsettled him so much.

_Yeah we’re friends._

They didn’t speak about it further.

Sterwin and Holly were deep in the jungle when they were surprised by a rare boss spawning in, practically on top of them as they hopped across a vine-covered ruin in search of treasure. They were both well-equipped and their players were good enough that they’d managed to defeat creatures that probably should have killed them, but this giant troll was too much for them.

He hurled a boulder at them, and balanced precariously on crumbling stone they were sitting ducks. Sternwin lost half his health crashing down into the undergrowth, and Holly sacrificed one of her creatures to heal herself when she landed beside him.

“Run! We can’t beat him.”

He was between them and the entrance to the ruin, and Holly bolted in the other direction. That seemed to be a dead end to him.

“I’ll get his attention you run past him,” Sternwin said, Erwin’s fingers flying over the keyboard, swinging the camera around as Sternwin’s auto run had him caught on a wall. He dodged out of the way as the troll flung another boulder at him.

“I’m not letting you die for me again, follow me. If you don’t I won’t run.”

For fuck’s sake, why was he risking all this typing, Erwin thought, leaping over some fallen masonry to take advantage of its meagre cover. Erwin couldn’t risk typing so he ran over to join Holly and hoped her player would get the idea.

Holly grabbed Sternwin’s hand in an emote that her player had to have typed up in advance and they ran through the ruins, the troll thundering in their wake and the lizards that normally lived there spitting acid at their heels.

Holly yelled “Jump!” but Erwin didn’t see what was coming and ran straight over the edge.

Regardless the pair of them plummeted and instead of the forest floor Erwin expected they landed in a pool of water. With line of sight broken, the troll retreated, and the battle music faded while Sterwin and Holly trod water.

“That went well,” Sterwin said.

“Don’t you ever do that again!” Holly swam over and faced him.

“What?”

“Sacrifice yourself for me. I won’t let you. I refuse.” Her player could write, Erwin thought, as necromancer’s usually calm demeanor cracked a little as she looked up at him.

“Holly,” Sternwin said. And Erwin did not think of the young-voiced man as Sterwin cupped her jaw and kissed her.

It made for a great story and Erwin delighted in it, his mood buoyed for the next week just thinking about it. Levi actually asked him why he was so motivated when they met up for one of their infrequent runs, and Erwin wouldn’t answer. Levi was just as much a nerd as he was, maybe even more of one, but he knew if he told him he could expect to have _Do You Want to Date My Avatar?_ hummed at him for approximately the next three years. It wasn’t the roleplay, it was the fact that Erwin’s feelings so mirrored his character’s. Holly was cute and well-written, but he knew pointing that out wouldn’t really save him from Levi’s gentle mockery.

He hadn’t given up on dating real people, he was just too busy for it right now, and it wasn’t like Levi had any room to talk about _that_. In the meantime, this was harmless fun.

Her name lit up on his contacts list as Online was enough to make him smile, even though it was the Friday night anti-Australian offensive. It didn’t even bother him when they moved to vent, and Holly got a voice so unlike her girlish tones in-game. Erwin felt warm and fuzzy, and happy to enjoy it while it lasted. He didn’t really think a romance via MMO characters was going to keep him all that emotionally invested for very long.

And then one early Sunday morning he found himself co-writing amateur erotica with someone he only knew as a smart and amusing (and male) voice. He supposed he could have stopped at any point, said he had to go to bed, or that he would prefer not to write out the details, but it would have been a lie. The words were flowing and his heart was pounding in his chest, and his dick was half-hard in his pants, ignored in favour of typing. He wasn’t going to jerk off to this. Not right now, anyway, as he suspected his enthusiasm and creativity would peak at orgasm, and that it would be embarrassingly obvious.

As for what Holly’s player was up to, he didn’t care to know or think about it, concentrating on matching his prose.

And when it was over, when Holly and Sternwin had cuddled up to sleep and their players had logged out without more than a perfunctory ‘Thanks, goodnight,’ Erwin finally yanked himself off and went to bed, determined not to think too deeply about it.

So naturally he found himself thinking about it every spare moment. It had been too long since he'd done anything particularly sexual with another person, that was the trouble. He liked Holly; her player was just there and not relevant, or at least that's how it should have been.

The next time they were on vent Erwin found himself listening to Holly's player's voice, and wondering with more than the idle curiosity he'd felt earlier, what he looked like. He was getting player and character muddled and if he had some idea what this guy looked like, it would help a lot getting things untangled again.

There was no way to ask for a picture without sounding like a creep, or that he was soliciting nudes, however.

Maybe it would be enough to get to know him better, and Erwin started making a point of finding out a bit more about the person behind the necromancer.

It was no surprise that he was a huge nerd. One evening he asked about Holly's name, in the vague hopes her player would reveal his own. It was an obvious reference to _Breakfast at_ _Tiffany's_ but Erwin learned that Holly's player really preferred the book, despite the movie featuring Audrey Hepburn (to whom Holly Foesmitely bore a fairly strong resemblance, now he thought about it; no wonder he found her cute.) In the end they talked about books for the rest of the evening while running raids on the Australians and Erwin forgot his original purpose in asking the question.

At least until Holly's player returned the favour.

_So where does Sternwin come from?_

_Oh. Uh. My real name is Erwin, so. I just picked whatever wasn't already taken._

… _Are you serious?_

Erwin sighed.

_HAHAHAHA_

_I'm glad I amuse you._

_Oh, you do, Erwin._

Erwin found himself smiling anyway. Hell, if he could make him laugh he had no reason to complain.

_I'm Armin, by the way._

_Nice to meet you._

Erwin had to admit his plan wasn't really working. Armin was similar to Holly in a few ways (well-read, fearsomely smart, and a had a dark sense of humour) and getting to know him better was enjoyable and Erwin liked him a lot, but wasn't really making their private role-play sessions bother him any less.

But he didn't stop. It might not be a great idea, but he couldn't see how it could cause him any real problems.

And then, fate handed him what appeared to be a solution to all his problems. He was chatting idly with Armin about college traditions, and Armin mentioned the university’s film club. Erwin had been a member and he remembered well the late-night movie marathons held in various independent cinemas after official closing time.

He mentioned some of his favourites and Armin asked him if he didn’t think the campus theatre smelled like tiger balm for some reason.

_I always feel like I’m back at my grandfather’s house when I go. Puts me right to sleep._

Erwin remembered the pungent theatre well. Levi had refused to go there twice. _WE’RE IN THE SAME CITY?_ Erwin typed, his hands flying over the keys. _You’re going to my_ _old_ _university?_

_Yes? I thought you knew._

_I had no idea._

_You mentioned which buildings you have to work in sometimes ages ago._

_Well you didn’t. I had no clue. We should meet up sometime._ Erwin waited anxiously for a response. He hadn’t thought to lead up to it, he’d just asked without thinking, finally having been given an opportunity to sort everything out.

_Okay, sure._

Erwin let out a breath. Good. Problem solved. The talked about schedules and discussed where to meet. Somewhere public, of course, and agreed that next Friday afternoon they’d meet in a cafe close to the city centre.

 _I have wondered what you looked like,_ Armin wrote.

_Tall, blond, and my best friend tells me I have a ‘smug haircut.’_

_Haha I can’t wait to see it then._

Erwin didn’t say so, but he was looking forward to it as well.

It was an incredibly slow week, not least because Erwin was waiting for a response from some government regulators and that never happened speedily, but Friday arrived as scheduled. Erwin left work exactly on time for once, and made his way through the crowds of teenagers marking time now that school had let out. The cafe was packed, and Erwin looked at his watch, wondering if he was too early and if he should wait outside.

“Erwin?” A familiar voice, unfamiliarly hesitant.

Erwin turned and all his plans turned to sand. He was looking at a slender young man, with long blonde hair in a half-ponytail, a Lord of the Rings tshirt and a laptop bag festooned in various political and fandom buttons, and Erwin’s first thought was that he was gorgeous.

That is, quite attractive for a man.

“Armin.” He held his hand out, feeling slightly overdressed in his suit. “Hello.”

“Hi.” Armin shook his hand without hesitating, a cool, firm grip. “I got us a table if you wanted to order anything.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Armin already had a mug of tea sitting in front of him, and when Erwin sat down with his own drink he asked if he’d been waiting long.

“I know these places get busy so I came early to get a table. I’ve been doing some work. So I haven’t really been waiting, as such. You’re early.”

“Work wasn’t going anywhere.”

They were sizing each other up, and Erwin sensed Armin was equally surprised by his appearance. They made awkward small talk until Erwin said, “Have you seen the latest patch notes?”

“Oh my God yes. What are they thinking with those new pet abilities?”

“Like hunters aren’t already easy-mode.”

Armin laughed. “Hey, one of my best friends is a hunter.” He had a lovely smile.

They talked as the evening rush hour flowed and ebbed past the windows of the cafe. They talked about books and games and politics and Armin asked a lot of questions about Erwin’s work. And Erwin spent too long just watching him talk. He had fine boned hands, and he used them a lot, gesturing as he spoke, and he sometimes interrupted himself when he got a new idea. It was fascinating.

By the time it was fully dark they hadn’t seemed to have run out of things to talk about, and Erwin asked if he wanted to get some dinner. Something flashed in Armin’s eyes then, and was veiled quickly.

“Yeah, I am getting hungry. There’s a burger place a block away that does student discounts.”

Erwin sensed he was being tested somehow. “If the burgers are any good, I have no objections.”

Armin assured him that they were, and they walked over, Armin falling silent as he navigated the crowds. He seemed more circumspect while they ate, and eventually Erwin had to ask him.

“What is it? You look like you have something on your mind.”

Armin met his eyes and looked away again and sighed as he tugged idly on his hair. “Okay. Sure.” He drummed his fingers on the table, frowning as he put his words in order. “I know what I look like,” he began. “Like, a twink, I guess. And a lot of guys see me and think I’m a pushover.” He looked up to meet Erwin’s gaze. “I’m not. I don’t want to be pushed around or talked down to, and I’m not looking for a Daddy or anything like that, and I will not do anything I don’t want to do. You don’t get to make assumptions about me.”

Erwin thought of several dozen things to say, but they all seemed defensive or overly complicated. Armin clearly didn't want a debate.

“Noted,” he said instead.

“Okay.” Armin smiled. “Sorry. I didn’t really think-- I mean, I guess I judged you a bit on your appearance as well.”

“The suit? Yeah. It’s not really me. Its for work. Most of the time when we talk I’m in my underwear.”

Armin nearly choked on a fry. “Wow. Really? That’s ah, interesting.” But he was smiling again, and that was the important bit.

After they finished eating Armin said he had to get home. “My server needs me and all that.”

“Can’t let the Aussies have it all their way,” Erwin said.

“Will you be online later?”

“Probably. You catching a train?”

“Yeah.”

They walked to the station, in the strange lull between the workers going home and the party-goers coming out.

“Ah my train’s in two minutes!” Armin said, looking at his phone.

“You gonna run?”

“Probably. Um. Hey,” he paused, turning back towards Erwin. “Thanks for taking what I said seriously. I mean, I knew you would. You treat Holly really well, you know?”

“Ah.” Erwin wasn’t sure what to say, and Armin didn’t give him a chance to say much anyway. The younger man bounced up on his toes, curled his fingers against Erwin’s neck and kissed him on the corner of the mouth. Erwin had the impression of heat and the ghost of breath across his mouth and then Armin stepped away.

“Okay, bye!” he said, and fled as the sound of an approaching train echoed up the steps. The timing was so neat Erwin wondered if he’d planned it like that. Erwin didn’t move until after the echoes of Armin’s footsteps had died away and the train had gone. Then he heaved a sigh and ran a hand over his face.

He wouldn’t be going home. He needed advice, and there was one obvious person to ask for it.

Levi’s shop was still open, as it always was on Friday nights. Erwin made his way down the flight of stairs into the arcade it was tucked away in. All the other shops in the street were closed and dark, but Levi’s was a beacon of light and noise, as conversation flowed out of the open door.

The tournament was in full swing when Erwin arrived, and hardly anyone even looked at him as he sidled in the door. About twenty or thirty nerds were playing cards and they were focused. Levi was behind the counter but he was watching them, should someone call for a judge.

He raised his eyebrows when he saw Erwin. Erwin had zero interest in Magic: the Gathering, and didn’t visit the store that often unless he had specific reason. Erwin gave him an odd smile, but he didn’t feel like talking with so many other people around, and he sidled off to look at the merchandise, feeling nostalgic for games played as he wandered around the racks of comics and miniatures and board games and paint. He’d fallen so far behind on comics he used to read religiously.

Out of all of their little nerdy group, Levi was the last person anyone would have expected to run a games store. Every time he had to go into one he complained incessantly about the dirt and the lack of hygiene of some of the regulars, but he was doing good work now, Erwin thought. He ran what was probably the cleanest game store in the state, if not the country.

All food was banned around the merchandise, most was banned at the gaming tables and there was an area set aside for people to eat. When the round of games concluded and the winners were announced the tournament broke up as people went out to get food, or moved to the eating area, and Erwin drifted back to the counter.

He waited for Levi to sell some snacks and talked about one of the games with a couple of contestants, before he got to Erwin.

“You're too late to join the draft,” he said.

“I'm not taking up Magic, I need to talk to you.”

Levi looked at the clock. “Final round starts at nine. I'm going to my office,” he called to Petra, who nodded went back to working out the scoreboard for the evening.

Levi shifted a box of comics off the spare chair and sat behind his desk. He didn't spend a lot of time here, it was just for doing the accounts as it was small and airless, but it was private at least.

Levi had a tournament to run so Erwin got to the point. “I think I went on a date with a man tonight.”

“You think they were a man or you think it was a date?”

“I think it was a date. He kissed me.” Erwin could feel Levi's eyes on him. “I didn't hate it.” He thought about it and his heart ached a little.

“You kissed a boy and you liked it,” Levi said, in a sing-song tone. When Erwin looked at him he grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “You're saying all this time, you and I-”

“I'm not gay!” Erwin snapped.

“Well, obviously. You could be bi, bicurious, pan, or just gay for this one guy in the whole world. Who gives a shit? I mean, you do like him, right?”

“I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I'd just explain it was a misunderstanding, because he left before I had a chance to respond.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I may do that anyway.”

“Why? You like him, and for some reason he seems to like you.” Levi paused. “You're not hung up on the thought of dating guys, are you?” There was something careful in his tone, and Erwin winced to even hear it.

“Of course not. But, fuck, I'm thirty-six, I thought I had this shit figured out. Don't you think it's a bit late to be questioning my sexuality?”

“Well, it's a bit strange. But people are pretty strange, and it's not unlike you to do things arse-backwards. It's not like there's a rule.”

Erwin shrugged. “When did you realise you were gay then?”

“When I was about thirteen and started jacking off to ads for boxer briefs. Oh, and I wanted to marry Captain Picard.”

“That's a good choice. Why not aim high?”

“You know, this makes me your sempai in gay love,” Levi said speculatively.

“If you're going to start talking like you're a character from one of those gay porn mangas I'm leaving.” Erwin scowled.

“All right, all right, I'll just send you some recommendations,” Levi got out his phone.

“I'm not interested in gay porn!” Erwin half-rose out of his seat.

Levi flicked his gaze up from the screen. “Aren't you?” he asked quietly.

Erwin sat back down. “I don't know.”

“I'm joking. Just date the guy, it's not like it has to go anywhere.”

“That's not the only issue. He's twenty-one.”

“Ah.” Levi put his phone away. “Where are you- is this your online friend?”

“Yeah.”

Levi looked at him and then looked at the time. “I dunno, this is too complicated for me. Why are you asking me for advice?”

“Because you're gay.”

“And single. Fuck. Just sleep on it or something. I have a tournament to run. Trust yourself.”

“Yeah. I'm sorry.” He was. He knew Levi wasn't all that good at navigating relationships.

“Whatever.” He led them out of the office and then paused. “If you start dating him properly I want to meet him, okay? I don't want anyone taking advantage of you. I'm serious,” he added, when Erwin felt himself smirk. “You're a big softie under that suit.”

So are you, Erwin thought, but he didn't argue.

Erwin had half convinced himself, by the time he got home, that this whole thing was an embarrassing incident best added to the store of Levi’s potential blackmail material and forgotten about. He’d guiltlessly tell Armin the almost-truth and hopefully they could remain friends, or at least, gaming buddies.

He logged on and when Holly’s name appeared in his chat window next to a _Hello :)_ his determination wavered a bit. It wasn’t the necromancer in his mind’s eye, but her player. He realised he was smiling a little.

 _I’d thought you’d gotten lost,_ Holly continued.

Erwin guessed Armin was a bit worried, wondering if he’d overstepped a boundary. And Erwin found room in his conscience to put off making a decision about it until tomorrow.

_Dropped by the games store on the way home._

_You utter nerd. Come help me take this fort._

That, at least, was familiar ground, and he went and did so.

Erwin wasn’t exactly honest with everyone all the time, but he was honest with himself, and after finding his showertime thoughts tending towards imagining kissing Armin back he decided he wasn’t going to put the brakes on this. Not just yet anyway.

The brakes had been applied in a different direction. By unspoken mutual agreement, the private roleplay sessions stopped entirely, and Erwin was slightly relieved. Armin said it had been good to meet him but didn’t suggest meeting up again, and Erwin supposed the ball was in his court.

Which was fine, he knew how to date people.

_Would you like to meet up again?_

_I was starting to think you weren’t gonna ask :P_

_We could go to a bookstore and buy each other a book._

It took Armin a while to respond.

_Did you get that from a romcom or something?_

Erwin raised an eyebrow. _It’s not compulsory._ Marie had loved it, as had most of the women Erwin had dated since.

_No no, I’ll go. It should be interesting. This is a date, right?_

Erwin nodded to himself, a bit nervous, a bit rueful, before typing _Yes._

_Good._

And everything was all right again.

They were mismatched, again, when they met for the second time. Armin was wearing slacks and a button-down shirt, while Erwin was in jeans and a faded ComicCon tshirt from the last year he’d had the time to actually attend.

“I like it better than the suit,” Armin said.

“So do I.” I’m okay with this, Erwin thought. This is fine.

Very little went quite as Erwin expected. For a start, Armin was quite impossible to buy books for, and Erwin realised, at his age and after an extra decade of reading, he was pretty difficult to shop for as well.

“I’ve read it,” Armin said about a thousand times. They had similar, but not exactly the same taste, and strong opinions, and they stood in the fantasy and sci-fi section having a hissed discussion about what constituted which that was dangerously close to an argument.

“Can I help you?”

They jumped apart guiltily when one of the shop assistants approached them.

“Um,” Erwin said.

“No,” Armin gave her a sweet smile. “No, I really don’t think they pay you enough for that. Thank you.” He was so nice to everyone, Erwin thought, remembering how he’d interacted with the wait-staff last time they’d been out. Everyone except Erwin himself, so far, and Erwin felt rather honoured.

“May I make a suggestion?”

Armin gave him an amused little smirk, “I wouldn’t dream of stopping you.”

“Why don’t we go to another section, like literature or something, and we pick a book we’ve not read that we think the other might like.”

“Based on the cover?”

“And the blurb, and flipping through it.”

Armin’s eyes lit up. “Okay. Come on,” he tilted his head and lead the way. The next half hour passed far more peacefully, and at the end of it Erwin received a copy of _Never Let Me Go_ and Armin managed to wedge _The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle_ into his satchel.

“That took longer than I expected,” Armin said, as the doors closed behind them.

“Time flies when you’re having fun?” Erwin asked hopefully.

Armin nudged his arm with his shoulder. “Yeah. Want to get coffee?”

Erwin said he would, relieved, and he didn’t blink when Armin offered to pay.

This time when they parted Armin’s train was still ten minutes away. Erwin’s was two, but he didn’t say a word about it as they put a concrete pillar between them and the other people waiting.

“This was fun,” Armin said, looking up at him. “I must admit, I didn’t expect any of this, like, old-fashioned sort of thing. I bet you’re not even on Grindr.”

“Not an app I have on my phone,” Erwin said truthfully, although he knew enough about it thanks to Levi’s withering critiques.

Armin shook his head, smiling, and then raised his eyebrows expectantly. “So?”

“I would like to kiss you,” Erwin said, and if the confession had a rehearsed quality it was only because he’d spent the past week considering whether or not the sentiment was true.

“My train leaves in eight minutes. Get on with it then.”

Erwin’s train was just pulling in when he bent to press his lips to Armin’s, his guts twisting with the pleasurable excitement that came from kissing someone for the first time, leavened with a certain amount of dread. They were out of the way, but they were still in public. Armin would not pass for a girl spared anything more than the briefest glance, and Erwin felt exposed like this. Something he only discussed with his closest friend now out in the open, for strangers to see.

But Armin had asked, not in so many words, and Armin wasn’t afraid, or shy, and Erwin didn’t want that to change, wouldn’t inflict his uncertainties on him. So he kissed the man, and he liked it. Armin smelled like coffee, and kissed like humans did, with a bit of teeth and his lips curled into a smile. His hair slid through Erwin’s fingers, and his palms were flat against Erwin’s chest, warm.

Erwin’s train had gone by the time he pulled back, the platform mostly empty. If they’d received any odd looks he’d missed them entirely. Armin was slightly flushed, a few strands of hair out of place, and Erwin watched as he unconsciously licked his lower lip and glanced up at the electronic timetable.

“I have to-” He sounded slightly out of breath as he gestured at the screen.

“I know, catch your train. You’ve got four minutes to get to the other platform.”

“When’s your train?” Armin asked.

“Just missed it.”

“Then you should have said- ah.” He caught Erwin’s expression and smiled back. “Fine. Well at least you’ve got something to read.”

Erwin took out his phone, rather than his book, when Armin had gone. Levi had texted him.

_It was today wasn’t it? Txt me when ur done_

_What are you my mother?_ Erwin responded, sitting down to wait for his train.

 _How did it go?_ Levi responded, suspiciously quickly.

_Good. We had fun._

_So? Ur officially dating a guy now?_

_Yes?_

_Right. I want to meet him. I won’t have some bright-eyed twink breaking ur heart._

Erwin wasn’t sure if he was touched or annoyed. He wanted to tell him that Armin wasn’t like that, but he supposed he’d have to meet him sooner or later anyway.

_I’ll ask him._

As it turned out, Armin was quite receptive to the idea. They weren’t really even playing the game right then, just idling in the capital city and talking on vent.

“That’s actually a bit of a relief,” Armin said. “My flatmate, well, he’s my friend, wants to vet you as well. He seems to think meeting older guys online is a bad idea.”

“He’s probably right. Bring him along anyway and we could double-date,” Erwin said.

Armin laughed. “That would be interesting. So I’ll see you next weekend?”

“As long as it’s not Friday night. Levi works late on Fridays.”

“Pfft. We’re busy on Friday nights anyway.”

“I know they scrub names from the other servers, but do you think they know who we are?” Erwin mused.

“I hope so. Why do you think I wear such over-the-top armour?”

“I thought that was Holly’s persona; shy librarian by day, goth pineapple by night.”

“Oh my god, you’re right.” Armin started laughing. “You horrible person, you’ve ruined this set of armour for me,” he managed to get out eventually before breaking down again. Victory, Erwin thought, grinning at the screen, his heart light.

“Stop scowling,” Erwin said, a week later.

“I’m not scowling, this is my face,” Levi replied. Erwin didn’t see why he was so sour about it. He wasn’t the one constantly in danger of having his eye put out by an umbrella. Erwin had spent all day hoping the skies would clear, but they were practically wading to the restaurant from the train station.

Armin had mentioned his friend had a car, and Erwin half hoped he’d offer them a lift home. Public transport in bad weather sucked, regardless of how environmentally friendly it was. Erwin was fairly sanguine about this whole meeting as he didn’t actually need Levi’s approval, after all, but Armin had seemed nervous when they were chatting earlier. His flatmate turned out to be his friend, turned out to be his childhood friend with a bad temper who had a bit of a history of intimidating Armin’s dates, apparently.

Erwin wasn’t particularly easy to intimidate. He just hoped this Eren didn’t get into some sort of pissing contest with Levi.

They stepped out of the rain with relief, and Erwin gave his name to the receptionist. This place wasn’t fancy, but it was good and therefore popular and it paid to book ahead on Saturday nights.

Armin and his friend were already at their table, and as they were lead over Levi murmured, “Not bad.”

And then he looked mildly startled when Erwin introduced him and Erwin realised Levi had been looking at the wrong one. Awkward handshakes were exchanged and they all sat down.

Eren looked between them for a few moments, attempting to give Erwin a stern look but getting distracted by Levi. Eventually, he told them why. “You seem kind of familiar,” he said.

“I own a games shop downtown,” Levi said.

Armin raised his eyebrows, impressed. Nerds always were when they heard what Levi did for a living.

“Yeah, that’s it!” Eren’s face lit up. “That is so cool. I’ve been there. The one with the rules about when you last shampooed your hair on the door, right? It’s a bit out my way; I had to take about three buses because I didn't have a car back then. I went there once cause I wanted a look at those limited edition _Attack on Mars_ figurines although they’re kind of too expensive.”

“They’re for people with more cash than me,” Levi said. “Good quality but not good value. At least I get to look at them until they sell.”

“Are you a fan?”

“Tentatively.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m just saying the plot could go off the rails at any point.”

“But the characters! The Captain is my favourite.”

“Yours and everyone else’s.”

“Yeah but-”

Erwin leaned back in his chair and silently opened the menu. When he glanced up at Armin, he saw he was biting his lip in an effort not to laugh. Armin held up his own menu to hide his mouth from the other two and mouthed _unbelievable_.

 _Nerds,_ Erwin mouthed in response. They didn’t stop until the waiter came to take their orders and neither Eren nor Levi had even glanced at the menu and they both ordered in a rush and Erwin had to remind Levi that he hated capers and that the pasta he nearly ordered was full of them.

Eren and Levi would have talked about anime all night given half a chance and Erwin deliberately steered them back on to more universal topics, like Dungeons and Dragons.

“We were going to play once,” Armin said. “But it never happened.”

Both Erwin and Levi had stock of amusing stories and since neither Armin or Eren had heard any of them before, they brought out all the best ones, and the time passed quite pleasantly.

Levi was mostly teetotal but tonight for some reason he said he wouldn’t mind a beer and Erwin went to the bar to order some. A couple of minutes later he felt a presence at his elbow and looked down into Armin’s eyes.

“Did you want a drink?”

“Not really. They’re arguing about _Attack on Mars_ again so I thought I’d come over and say hi.” Armin rolled his eyes a little.

“This is going better than I’d expected,” Erwin admitted. “He’s not put off by Levi’s language.”

“Eren can be overenthusiastic, but Levi doesn’t seem to mind. Levi seems, well.”

“An acquired taste,” Erwin said. “But you couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

Armin smiled, “Maybe that’s why he and Eren have so much in common.” Pause. “Is he gay?”

“Gayer than I am.” At Armin’s puzzled look he added. “He’s never dated girls.”

Armin looked thoughtful. Erwin almost suggested they pay the bill and sneak out, and leave them to it, but he knew Levi didn’t appreciate those kinds of stunts, so he simply carried the drinks back to the table and told him to shut up about anime for two seconds.

They lived too far away to make a lift home practical, but Eren drove them to the train station and Armin pecked him on the cheek before they split up.

Levi was very quiet on the way home, when Erwin finally asked him what he thought he said that he seemed nice.

“Well, maybe we can do this again, then. You and Eren seemed to get on well.”

Levi flicked his gaze away from the dark streets beyond the train window and met Erwin’s eyes only for a moment. “I suppose.”

Erwin wasn’t fooled. Not one bit.

“Eren’s driving me crazy,” Armin said a few days later. “He keeps talking himself into and out of going to Levi’s store.”

“Why?” Erwin asked. “I mean, why does he talk himself out of it?”

“He thinks Levi’s too cool for him.”

Erwin shook his head as he directed Sterwin around the battlefield. “Levi is not cool.”

“You know that, and I know that.”

“I happen to know Levi might not mind too much if Eren did pay him a visit,” Erwin said.

“Really?” Armin said thoughtfully, and Erwin could practically hear the wheels turning in his head.

“Don’t meddle,” Erwin warned him. “Levi hates it when people meddle.”

“I’ll just give Eren a little encouragement, that’s all. No further meddling, I promise.”

Erwin supposed it couldn’t hurt.

Erwin was good at his job, and his favourite part was when he revealed his true colours to the bland suits he’d been lulling into a false sense of security. He loved it. The bewildered looks when he smiled and said it wasn’t about the money, when they realised he was exactly who he claimed to be and not what he looked like.

He didn’t always win, of course. No one ever did. Sometimes he had to take the money and watch the bulldozers roll in, but today was not one of those days. He’d done his damage, hurled legal phrases like shrapnel and walked out early for once.

It was still light when he left the building, and he took out his phone, without any real thought and took a picture of the sky to prove it, and sent it to Armin.

His phone vibrated almost immediately.

_Wait._

Erwin waited, but no further texts were incoming. Eventually he sent one himself.

_For what?_

Nothing. Maybe Armin had mistyped his response, he thought, putting his phone back in his pocket and starting to make his way to the station, half his mind on the pale sky above and the other half still in the room he’d just left, going over the events of the day.

The sound of running feet brought him out of his reverie and he looked down just in time to see Armin skid to a halt in front of him, a large backpack on his back and quite out of breath.

“Are you all right?” Erwin asked.

“Yeah my train was just,” Armin paused for breath. “Nearly at the city, so I got off instead. Triangulated-” He pointed at the sky and then smiled. “Caught you in time. Man these books are heavy,” he groaned and straightened up, rolling his shoulders under the straps of his bag.

He ran here, Erwin realised, interrupted his commute home from uni just so he could see Erwin in daylight. Well, twilight at least. Judging by the look Armin was giving him as he stood there catching his breath, Erwin guessed he was staring. He couldn’t help it; Armin was lean and fine-boned and young.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Ah.” Armin shook his head.

“Can I take you to dinner?”

“Honestly, Erwin you don’t have to. Okay, fine.” He smiled, looking pleased as he tucked his hair behind his ear.

“I can take your bag if you want,” Erwin offered, and for a moment Armin hesitated and then he shrugged it off and handed it to him. Erwin was startled by how much weight was in it as he slung it over his shoulder.

“Thanks. I guess there’s no point in having a big buff boyfriend if you don’t let him carry your bag,” Armin said.

Boyfriend.

Erwin managed to hide his reaction. “Yeah,” he said lightly. Boyfriend. They went out together and kissed goodbye at the end of the evening. Erwin wasn’t sure how to proceed further and he didn’t want to ask Levi. He got the feeling his answer would be cheerfully graphic; he’d been in a good mood lately.

But he wanted, he thought as Armin fell into step beside him. He thought he wanted, anyway, although part of him worried that the inherent straightness that he’d always assumed he possessed would somehow reassert itself. Maybe he just liked him, maybe he was just lonely, maybe (oh God he _loathed_ himself for this one) Armin was merely not stereotypically masculine enough to put him off. He couldn’t bring himself to watch Levi’s recommendations, so he kept it all in his head, fantasising about peeling Armin’s skinny jeans off his legs, what he might sound like when he came, how his lips would feel on his cock.

He knew this ambiguous courtship couldn't last forever. He knew he either had to do something about it or let Armin go find someone who suited him better. He just wasn't sure how.

They never ran out of things to talk about, and after dinner they strolled through one of the city parks, Armin's bag still over Erwin's shoulder.

“Eren had a huge lovebite on his neck this morning,” Armin said, and Erwin felt a stab of envy. Eren had known Levi half the time Erwin had known Armin.

“Do you want one?” Erwin asked, a tone of gentle teasing.

Armin pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Actually, no. I mean, they kind of hurt and I think they look pretty gross. My skin's so pale I just look like I've been beaten up.” He laughed awkwardly. “I picked a really terrible opener, now I think about it.” He looked at Erwin and away again.

Erwin took a deep breath. “Do you want to?”

“Yes?”

“Okay, good.”

Armin laughed. “You didn't finish the question. How are you so awkward when you look like that?”

“I think it's you,” Erwin said. “Would you like to come back to my place and critique my library?”

“I would.”

They took the train home, Armin's arm pressed up against Erwin's, and Erwin watching Armin's reflection in the window of the train carriage. He thought he was being surreptitious until Armin winked at him.

“Home sweet home,” Erwin said, as he unlocked the door, and ushered Armin in. “I wasn't actually expecting visitors.” He went past him, and tried to tidy up, scooping a pile of clean washing off the couch and throwing it in the general direction of the closet as Armin sniggered.

“You're as bad as Eren is.”

“Eren's a slob?” Erwin asked, shedding his suit coat. “Levi's not going to like that. He's a clean freak.”

“I think Eren's aware. He was having a spring cleaning the other day. Maybe Levi will be a good influence.”

“Why are we talking about them?” Erwin asked, returning to the living room. “Do you want a drink?”

“I'm all right, thank you.” Armin actually was examining Erwin's bookshelves. They'd both finished the books they'd bought for each other, but realised they couldn't really discuss it until they'd both read both books so they'd swapped them again. Armin had finished both of them, but Erwin was finding _The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle_ slow going.

Erwin flopped on the couch while Armin pulled books off the shelves and read the blurbs before putting them back again.

“These aren't in any order,” Armin said.

“The series are all together. Do you order your library?”

“Of course. By country of origin and then the author's last name. Oh, and non-fiction is separate. You've got textbooks in here.”

“That was they only place they'd fit.”

“I volunteered at the school library when I was a teenager,” Armin said. “I always notice when books are out of order now.”

“If you want to borrow something help yourself,” Erwin said.

“Mm. Maybe after exams.” Armin put the book he was holding back and walked over. He looked down at Erwin for moment, and then very deliberately crawled into his lap, his knees either side of Erwin's thighs.

“Hi,” Armin said.

“Hello.” Erwin tilted his head back, his hands resting lightly on Armin's hips as the younger man leaned down to kiss him.

They weren't waiting for a train this time, no one would interrupt them, and Armin started slow, pressing breathy little kisses against his mouth. His slim, clever fingers undid Erwin's tie and draped it over the back of the couch, while Erwin slid his hands up Armin's sides, feeling his ribs move as he breathed.

They grew more comfortable, Armin winding his arms around Erwin's neck, his fingers in Erwin's hair. The kisses deepened, grew more complex, lips parted for them. Armin made little purring sounds and Erwin dragged his fingers down Armin's back pressing them slightly, urging him down. And he went, denim stretched tight across his arse as he settled himself more closely in Erwin's lap.

The warm weight of him was enough, the taste of him was enough, and Erwin was hard in his trousers, trying not to roll his hips up. Armin leaned back a little, and started undoing the buttons on Erwin's shirt with an easy confidence, his mouth never leaving Erwin's face. He pulled Erwin's shirt open and finally lifted his head to survey his handiwork.

“Hell yes,” he said. Erwin had guessed Armin was a fan of his chest, given the way his hands seemed to come to rest there quite often when they kissed. He ran his hands across Erwin's pecs and all that time at the gym suddenly seemed worth it. Erwin flexed for him and Armin laughed and surged forward to hug and kiss him again and his cock pressed against Erwin's stomach hard and demanding even still squashed in those jeans and Erwin sucked in a breath.

“Armin.”

There had to have been something in his voice because Armin pulled back, looking concerned. “Yeah?”

“I've never done this before.”

Armin's eyebrows shot right up as he regarded Erwin with a disbelieving expression.

“I mean.” Fuck, he was making a mess of this. He shouldn't have said anything. “Not with a man before.”

“Really.” He could see Armin thinking about it, putting things together in his head. “That actually explains some things,” he said warily. “But I want to hear more about it from you.”

He slid off Erwin's lap and stood up, before sitting next to him. There was space between them, and Erwin was both relieved and disappointed.

“I'm not-”

“Gay?” There was something hard in Armin's voice.

“No! I mean, clearly I'm not straight. I haven't had time to think about it. I didn't think it really mattered. Look, I'm not one of those guys who fucks other guys before getting disgusted by it and pretending it didn't happen. Levi would kick my arse. He doesn't stand for that shit, and I wouldn’t do that.” He hoped, anyway.

Armin nodded. “But you're thirty-six. And you've never-?”

“I know how ridiculous this is. I wasn't going to say anything but judging by the look on your face, it's probably good that I did. You're supposed to do all this sort of thing at college,” he said, thinking back to Mike's princess. “I had a girlfriend all through college. We were engaged for a while- I didn't really have the desire or opportunity to experiment.”

“Why’d you break up?”

“Because I was ‘selfish in my selflessness’ and married to my job. Not because I was checking out guys.”

Armin winced. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that. It wasn’t my business.”

Erwin shrugged. He felt exposed now, with his shirt unbuttoned and untucked but buttoning it up seemed a bit superfluous.

“So this is an experiment.”

“No. Well, maybe a little.” Armin was thumbing at his lower lip, thinking, and even now Erwin found it distracting. “I know what it feels like to like someone, and I like you.”

“It’s not about Holly?”

“I know how to tell reality from fiction,” Erwin said. “One of the reasons I wanted to meet you was to separate you better from Holly, and it worked, but not in the way I expected. I know this is strange, and if you don’t want to take this further I don’t really blame you.”

Armin looked at him, and Erwin’s heart sank as he stood up. “I want to think about it for a while.”

“Okay. Do you want me to walk you to the station?”

“I’m fine.” Armin collected his bag. “Thank you for dinner,” he said as Erwin walked him to the door.

“You’re welcome.”

Armin gave him a faint smile and then he was gone.

Erwin groaned and went to drown his sorrows in computer games. Single player ones. He’d said all he had to say, and it was up to Armin now.

He went to see Levi the following afternoon, before his shop shut, to see if he wanted to get something to eat afterwards. Erwin had felt useless at work and left early, something he did so rarely his colleagues were convinced he was coming down with something.

Levi was seeing off the last of the high schoolers buying manga and YuGiOh cards when Erwin arrived.

“You look like shit,” Levi said, calculating the day’s take as Petra turned the sign over and wished them both good evening.

“I told Armin I wasn’t experienced at being gay.”

“Clearly a bad idea.”

“I couldn’t not tell him. He’d noticed something was off, anyway. He’s thinking about things.”

Levi scowled.

“That’s the best I could have hoped for, Levi.”

“I suppose.”

“You’re probably right, he’s too young for me.”

“Oi. You're not that old.” Levi frowned, and when they walked outside Erwin realised why he'd changed his tune. Eren was waiting for them, leaning against the side of his car and playing with his phone. He looked up with a brilliant smile when he heard them coming, that wavered slightly when he saw Erwin.

“Hi,” he said.

“Don’t mind me,” Erwin said. “I was just dropping by.”

Levi gave him a look, but he never argued about these things. If Erwin wanted to be self-effacing, Levi would let him; he didn’t play social games.

“I want to talk to you on the weekend,” he said instead. “Text me.”

Erwin nodded and gave Eren a polite smile as they got into Eren’s car. At least things seemed to be going well for somebody.

Erwin didn’t feel like logging in for the rest of the week, but Friday night saw him doing so. If Armin didn’t want to talk to him yet (he didn’t want to think about whether it might be ever) that would be fine. Holly was online as usual and Erwin knew Sternwin’s name had popped up in Armin’s notifications, but he steadfastly refused to think about it, checking the server stats instead. Still early, the servers were evenly matched for now, and he debated doing a bit of crafting before joining the fight.

_Hello_

Erwin’s heart lurched as Holly’s name appeared in his chat window.

_Good evening._

_How’s your week been?_

_Okay._

Map chat filled the textual silence.

Erwin was typing an apology when a block of text popped up.

_Look, do you want to come over? It’s stupid trying to have a conversation like this. I’ll give you my address and we can get pizza for dinner or something. Eren’s working and then I think he’s going to see Levi afterwards so we can talk without anyone else bothering us. I do want to see you again._

_If I run I can get the next train,_ Erwin typed, already standing up and looking for something to wear.

Armin’s apartment was at the top of several flights of stairs, and Erwin wondered how he stood lugging all those books up and down. Erwin knocked and waited for what seemed like an age but was probably no longer than thirty seconds before Armin opened the door.

“Hey,” Erwin said.

Armin looked him up and down. “You look like a dog that’s been caught chewing the furniture,” he said with a funny little smile.

“Could be worse,” Erwin said as Armin ushered him into the apartment.

“Aw, look, I’m not mad. You’re doing your best. Come here.” Armin opened his arms and Erwin didn’t need any further encouragement. He wrapped his arms around Armin’s shoulders as hard as he dared and pressed his nose against Armin’s hair, breathing him in. Armin hugged him back.

“I missed you,” Erwin said.

“Yeah, me too.”

They drew back far enough that their eyes could meet.

“So?” Erwin asked.

“You’re worried that you won’t be able to go through with this,” Armin said. “That you’re gay enough to date me but not to fuck.”

Erwin couldn’t argue with that.

Armin took a deep breath. “Well, I don’t want this relationship to be without sex and I don’t think you do either. We’ve already had an evening end in disaster, so unless you’ve got anything else you’d like to tell me, we could give it a try. How much worse could it get?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know, but if you keep saying that it’s going to sound patronising. I’m an adult, and in this case, more experienced than you.”

“So you want to take the lead? Tell me what to do?” Erwin asked slyly.

“Let’s save the kinks till later,” Armin said, neither confirming nor denying. “Let’s just see how it goes.”

Armin made to step back but Erwin tightened his grip slightly, reeled him in and kissed him, because he’d missed it, and Armin might have missed it too, given the way he popped up on his toes and kissed him back.

Armin took his hand, and Erwin laced their fingers together as Armin led him into his room. It was as Erwin had expected, the spare spaces filled with shelves of books, neatly alphabetised and a computer on the desk as personalised as Erwin’s own. The game was still running and Erwin frowned at the odd interface, making a note to ask Armin about it later.

He had more pressing things to think about.

“Okay, um, sit down?” Armin asked, gesturing to the bed as he closed the door behind them. Erwin did as he was asked, amused. Armin’s hands, always so expressive, were fluttering a bit nervously.

“You don’t have to-” Erwin began.

“No, no, I’ve thought about this. Best get it over with, right?” So saying he pulled his shirt off over his head. He had no tan lines, pale right to his fingertips, his veins blueish on the inside of his wrists and elbows. Erwin had felt his ribs, and wasn’t surprised to see them, his gaze dropping lower to the ill-defined sprinkling of blonde hair below his navel.

“Okay?” Armin asked, looking both worried and a little nervous.

“Yeah,” Erwin said, dragging his eyes back up. Armin was out of reach, unless he moved from the bed, so he couldn’t touch him. He wanted to, leaning forward but keeping his hands on his knees. Armin nodded, and Erwin wondered if he wore the same sort of expression when he was executing his strategies in-game. It was endearing, and Erwin felt a wave of affection for him, for going so far on Erwin’s behalf, for trying to make it work.

Erwin did things for other people. He enjoyed it, and it was strange to have a potential lover—still only potential—doing so much on his behalf.

And then he couldn’t think on it further because Armin was fumbling with the button on his jeans. He was looking off to the side as he unzipped and shoved both jeans and underwear down in one movement. There was no graceful way to get his clothes off his feet and he hopped around for a few seconds before stepping out of them and kicking them aside.

He stood before Erwin, supple and slender as a young willow, his cock twitching but not really hard.

“So, what do you think?” Armin asked in a slightly strangled tone, spreading his hands. His face was flushed and Erwin thought he might have been the bravest person he’d ever met.

Erwin didn’t answer directly, instead sliding forward off the bed, onto his knees, gazing up at Armin intently. Armin’s lower lip caught between his teeth as Erwin reached out, placing his hands on his legs just above his knees, sliding them up, feeling the slight prickle as fine hairs caught on his fingers. He curled his fingers slightly and Armin shuffled closer, his toes brushing Erwin’s knees, and his cock nodding, rising before Erwin’s face.

Erwin leaned in and pressed his mouth to Armin’s skin, his cock brushing his cheek. He smelled like soap, like a recent shower, and he smelled of arousal, like Erwin himself, sharp somehow.

“You’ve never done this before,” Armin said.

Erwin shook his head, his thumbs running over the jut of Armin’s hips, his eyes on Armin’s cock. It was pretty, he decided, asking for attention, flushed and hard under his gaze and his own responded, wedged against his hip in his jeans.

“That’s pretty fucking hot,” Armin said, and his voice broke on the last word as Erwin leaned up slightly and wrapped his lips around the head of Armin’s cock. Erwin had received enough blowjobs in his time to know how it was done, but he wasn’t quite prepared for the reality of it. The taste was fine, skin and salt and trace soap, but the press of it at the back of his mouth was new as he lowered his head onto it, not necessarily pleasant.

But the way Armin gasped when he sucked, cheeks hollowing, and clumsily swallowed spit, trying to keep his teeth tucked behind his lips, was worth it. Erwin could feel him tense and shudder under his hands.

“That’s it,” Armin said, his hands coming to rest on Erwin’s head. He ran his fingers gently through Erwin’s hair, almost like he was soothing him. “That’s good,” he panted as Erwin moved back with some relief to rub his tongue against the underside of Armin’s cock.

Erwin hummed in agreement and Armin rocked his hips forward slightly.

“Okay, okay. God. Erwin, haha stop.” Armin pushed him away and smiled down at him. “You’re a natural. Now take your clothes off.”

Erwin stood up to comply. He’d been prepared to suck Armin off until he came but he hadn’t decided if he’d spit or swallow (what did it even _taste_ like? His girlfriends hadn’t exactly given him a reason to think it would be good.) He didn’t mind having to put off making a decision.

Armin was impatient, undoing the button on Erwin’s jeans while Erwin was still taking off his shirt. Then he realised Erwin still had shoes on and abandoned that task to untie them. When Erwin’s clothes were finally strewn across the floor Armin pushed him back onto the bed and clambered onto him and they rolled around, as much as was possible on a single bed, kissing and clutching at each other.

And it was fine. It was better than fine. This was Armin, his beautiful boyfriend, and he wanted him, sharp elbows and sharp tongue and sharper mind and all. When he pressed his cock against Erwin’s it was electric. His hair brushed Erwin’s face as they kissed, his hands at Erwin’s nipples and then just rubbing at his chest hair.

“Wanted,” Armin said against his mouth.

“Mm.” His hands found Armin’s arse and he squeezed and Armin rolled his hips forward obligingly.

He wanted. Couldn’t quite believe he’d ever doubted that he would.

Armin sat up, his weight mostly on Erwin’s thighs. “Do you want to fuck me?” he asked, without preamble.

“Yeah,” Erwin said, wondering when his voice had gone so squeaky.

“I see.” Armin was moving slightly, rocking back and forth and he quirked a smile. “Well, you can fuck me if you like, but I want to top you first. It’s only fair.”

Erwin could see the logic, and his gaze dropped to Armin's cock, wondering what it would be like. “Okay,” he said cautiously.

“Not tonight. You’re off the hook,” he smiled. “I don’t want to take that much time right now.” He raked his fingernails lightly down Erwin’s stomach. “I feel like I’ve waited long enough. When we do, I promise I’ll go slow. You’re a virgin, after all.” His eyes were alight with mischief.

“You’re depraved,” Erwin said and Armin giggled and at Erwin’s urging flung himself back down into his arms. “Horrible,” Erwin mumbled, kissing his nose. “Terrible,” he added against his lips. He sighed as he felt Armin reach down and wrap his hand around them both. “Lovely hands,” he added.

“Shut up.” Armin kissed him as he started to move his hand.

Erwin had run out of coherent things to say anyway, and he only groaned as Armin gasped against his mouth. He kept his eyes open, watching Armin’s face as he brought them closer to orgasm. His grip on Erwin wasn’t the best and eventually Erwin added his hand and Armin bucked against him, his teeth in his lower lip and then he was crying out, coming across Erwin’s stomach and chest and Erwin put his free hand on Armin’s hip, pushing him down as he rutted up against him, close.

Close and then coming, practically seeing stars. “Fuck!” Aware of Armin’s eyes opening to watch, breathing out, ragged, against Armin’s cheek.

“That went well,” Armin said, catching his breath unfairly fast.

“Mm.”

“Oh my God,” Armin propped himself up on his elbows and grinned at him. “I can tell people I turned you gay.”

“Bi,” Erwin said, frowning.

“Close enough,” Armin flopped back down again with a happy sigh. It made Erwin happy too, and he nuzzled him. “We forgot to order pizza,” Armin said.

“We were busy.” Erwin craned his neck to look at Armin’s computer, although the screen had gone dark. “I bet the Australians are all over the server by now.”

“Well, they can have it,” Armin said. “Just this once.”

 


End file.
